just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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