Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
