I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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