it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
