...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Randomize
