I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
