i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
