Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
