It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
