Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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