sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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