:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
