Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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