I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
