Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
