idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
