i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
