when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
