it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Vodka?
Forever.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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