I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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