I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
