you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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