One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
