I have demons in me.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
