Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
