i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
