We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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