um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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