Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
