My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
