I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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