I want to walk on stilts...naked
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
