Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
