well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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