I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
