its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
