Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
