At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
