Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
