He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
