Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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