i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
