No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
