i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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