I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
