Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
