dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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