we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
