I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
