so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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